In honor of Waldo: Some where Chester A. Arthur is laughing

The folks over at Mike's America and Sunlit Uplands are biting their nails, gnashing their teeth and generally stocking up to move to cabins in the woods at undisclosed locations.

First the voters of the Country ignored their pleas against the Marxist-Socialist-Communist-Fascist-Muslim-Terrorist-Homo lover-"Pro Abortion"-did-we-mention-he's-black candidate because as they know, he was born in Kenya. The people spoke and cast the majority of votes in more than enough states for Obama to be declared the victor at 11pm on Election night.

Then they got slapped in the face from the Supreme Court who refused to hear their case about his birthplace. Who would have ever thought that the Bush appointments of Alito and Roberts would reject this claim -- then again, Bush doesn't believe the Bible is the literal and factual word of God in the way all good Muslims Fundamentalists and Evangelicals, so no wonder. (By the way check out his 'Above My Pay Grade' remark on Evolution)

Now the Electoral College has cast its ballots - and darnit if they didn't do it in favor of Barack Hussein Obama II, despite the hopes for faithless electors.

The only recourse now is to appeal to members of Congress before they vote on January 6 to ratify the electoral college vote -- that and pray the Prophet of Parowan has foretold.

Good luck to you Yahoo's in the wilderness, don't forget your snuggies and to drink your juice.

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Following President Bush's "If you're not with us..." logic

If we apply President Bush's "if you're not with us, you're against us" logic then Anne Coulter, Sean Hannity and the rest of the hateful, vile, seething American Far Right including the James Dobsons and Hugh Hewitts of the world, must all be Al Qaida sleeper cells. Al Qaida is apparently upset that their 'message' is being muddled and rejected by -- get this, 'Pro-Obama Media Bias,'

Global reactions to Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri's controversial condemnation of U.S. President-Elect Barack Obama as a "House Slave" (or, alternatively, "House Negro") have begun to pour in -- including via the top jihad web forums used by Al-Qaida to disseminate its propaganda. Though hardcore Al-Qaida supporters have predictably dismissed any criticism of Dr. al-Zawahiri and are fiercely backing his choice of words, there is a rather ironic (if not entirely unfamiliar) twist to this issue. After observing international press reporting on the incident, these same supporters are now bitterly attacking the media for its "unfair" pro-Obama bias and for deliberately "confusing" the meaning of al-Zawahiri's message.

So, keeping that in mind, it should be obvious that purchasing any materials from Focus on the Family, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter or any other right wing terror organization, such as "red state" or "townhall" only funds the enemies of American Liberty and Peace.

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Quote of the Day: Everyone knows...

John Stewart post Michelle Obama's speech had this to say,

She's got to, she's a Democrat. She must prove she loves America, as opposed to Republicans who everyone knows love America - they just hate half the people living here.

Mmm.. yup that sums it up. Full segment video here.

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Oh Ms. Dowd

Maureen Dowd is one of my favourite opinion columnists for the NYTimes. And her skills at sardonic fiction are always appreciated. Check out her latest Two Against The One. HRC can not and will not get over herself and though this is a work of fiction, it's based in some elements of truth.

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Brooks and SWPL

David Brooks must have discovered Stuff White People Like.

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Move Over Ja'net Du Bois

I think this video will go viral, though I'm sure that some of my readers and friends will tell me that it's at no time appropriate to reference Hitler unless your comparing some awful person/republican to him.
I find it humourous for a plethora of reasons if not for the excellent lip syncing that it took to line up the audio and video than because it plays on certain historical speculation about the German Dictator..... and it was shown at a drag queen variety show - which says so much.

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Miss USA falls.... again!!

I'm breaking my hiatus so soon because this was to funny! Miss USA 2008 fell at the Miss Universe pageant.

Of course this happened to Miss USA 2007 as well.

I wonder if our "intelligence" officers believe this to be an Iranian conspiracy, or a plot by Al Qaeda?

Oh well, I wouldn't worry too much, unless of course it happens again next year! Then perhaps the superstitious amongst us will say how the falling of Miss USA in the pageant is a portents of our collective future as a nation. Who knows.

Happy Monday y'all!

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Schadenfreude!

From National Geographic Channel

Apparently some coffee connoisseurs are taking delight from Starbuck's woes. This smug feeling will last slightly longer than a "true" machiato, or kopi luwak, while the contempt for the corporate and the mean (sorry Juan, Maxwell) is as foul as they are without that first cup in the morning.

Sidenote, how would you coffee fiends like to spend the rest of your life doing this

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Irony, cruel Irony

From CNN:

Officials unveiled the prototype of the first U.S. coin with readable Braille characters on Wednesday -- a silver dollar commemorating the 200th anniversary of the birth of Louis Braille, the creator of the alphabet for the blind.

and the kicker

The coin's display opened the National Federation of the Blind's annual convention in Dallas.

How better to taunt blind people than a smooth surfaced cardboard print image...

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All Dogs go to Heaven

The Atlanta Journal Constitution reports that Uga VI, his given name being Uga V's Whatchagot Loran (how imperial and at the same time redneck sounding), passed away last Friday and that Monday the University held a funeral.

But not just any funeral. The beloved mascot of the University of Georgia's remains were flown on the university's private jet from his home in Savannah, GA, to Athens. Uga VI wasn't alone on the journey as the dog's owners and their family were also in tow on the flight.

Once arrived at the University his body was paraded through the stadium and across the football field to the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Bulldog Nation. In attendance were local officials University and State dignitaries.

The Octogenarian, who so many years ago was instrumental in deigning the current line of Ugas from the Seiler household at the demise of the last "brindle bulldog" in 1942, recounted how it therefore came about that the current bloodline was selected.

The Rev. Claude McBride, a local Baptist Minister, said an invocation concluding the prayer with "Sic 'em, Uga. Woof, woof! Amen."

There was no Pine Box for Uga, his body was then interred with the past Ugas in the Granite Mausoleum of the "Great Uga," shrouded in his Jersey and collar.

Photo from Atlanta Journal Constitution

Folks, I can't make this sh*t up! It's all true. I don't think humanity has seen such goings on over a dog since the days of Pharoh - though perhaps at PETA gatherings, nor such regal and stately accord outside the death of a President or Head of State.

Conversely if the current Cocky died, the most you'll see is President Sorensen eating a two piece with a biscuit, and then casting the bones at the base of the Strom Thurmond Statue to divine who's going to succeed him as President or what the outcome of the this year's football season will be. And to top it all off, this goes to show you that there are more wasteful spenders in the world than the South Carolina Legislature.

As an aside and update, it appears that a Journalist at the AJC are going all post-Tim-Russert on the Uga story and asking, what's the big deal, it's just a dog!

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Bidding farewell to those white oxford shirts

If one were to peruse through my closet there would be one seminal article of the male clothing that would be seemingly missing. I'm speaking of course of the white oxford shirt.

Shockingly it's such a profound dislike for these shirts that explain their absence from my wardrobe. No discrimination is made between 100% Cotton and the blends, whether they're polyester or lycra; no distinction drawn between the thicker winter varietals with their rough texture and the airish summer shirt that is both thin and at the same time smooth.

But why should I dislike such a standard bearer of the male garb? The reasons are surprisingly many.

No matter how many times you go over the shirt with that familiar back and forth motion with the pwsh pwsh sound of high pressured steam as it's being released through the grate of a high temperature plate of metal you can't seem to win, because as you iron one of these shirts, no matter how many wrinkles you manage to steam press out you create at least two more.

What about the fact that even with an undershirt because of seepage, sweat seems to stain the collar and underarm which over time, even when bleaching, there's left a presence of faint yellow brown akin to the color of smoker's teeth.

And speaking of stains and bleach, over time - periods that seem to be getting shorter and shorter - with the Oxford Shirt, no matter the fact that you use the detergent or bleach (alternative) that's supposed to keep your whites bright - these shirts seem to fade and transmute again into a variant on that bright angelic white that's less than saintly to somewhere between off white and mother of pearl. And after so many washes in these detergents those thick winter Oxfords whose rough texture was a characteristic of the robustness of the fiber wears to that like a worn teddy bear, while the summer shirts in their arishness and smooth textures tend to go in two directions depending on their composition, frayed and as ragged and worn as their winter counterparts, or strangely more slick like a snake in its new skin.

Let's not forget about wearing the shirts though, already I've mentioned the fact about sweat and staining but lets not forget another facet - in that no matter the winter or summer variety, the thickness or texture, you must wear an undershirt. One can't go without wearing an undershirt which in the summer defeats the purpose of the lighter materials causing one to sweat more and in the winter to absorb the sweat caused from wearing such a thick article but in turn generating more.

The fact that the undershirt is absolutely necessary points to the most obvious failure of the white oxford shirt, when warn on the back of a man, race not withstanding, the shirt is translucent. And if you don't wear an undershirt everyone can see your nipples and, if you have it, especially chest hair. It's self defeating off the hanger and on the back because the pure driven snow whiteness doesn't hold and the man looks not like he's wearing a white shirt if he looks like he's wearing anything at all.

I suppose I could at this point go the esoteric route and relate the white oxford shirt with all of it's flaws to white hegemony and the sins of that racial/cultural imperialism - perhaps even relate it to current events in places like Iraq of American politics, obviously that would denote a strong sense of white guilt. Or I could point out the fact that growing up it's the only type of shirt that I ever wore when dressing up - weddings, funerals, Sunday Morning Worship at the local Southern Baptist Church in Cheraw, school pictures and family functions - that by the shear volume of times I've had to wear such shirts or even owned so great a number as a reason for my derision. But to do that would take away from the purely visceral disgust that I have, even at the sight of a white oxford shirt, a disgust that has lead me to purge my closet of any such garments, to cull from my conscience any note of appeal or appreciation for such a wretched shirt.

Never again shall this trollop masquerading as a staple of men's fashion find quarter within my wardrobe, friendship amidst my clothes or function upon my back.

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Pirate attacks increase!

Sully points out that Pirate Attacks are up 75%! This is great news for those concerned with the Carbon Footprints as the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (i.e. pastafarians) has concluded an inverse relationship between number of Pirates and Global Temperature.

Already the people over at CFSM are pointing to the nation of Somalia who has the lowest Carbon Footprint and highest number of Pirates.

In other news related to the Pastafarian Cult, Snead looks forward to the day of having an FSM license plate since South Carolina approved the "I Believe" plate for Christians - and even includes a video from NBC Nightly News on the "I Believe" tag with B-roll of St. Peter's Parish (my home Parish) and a roll call vote of the SC House, with Rep. Ted Vick from Cheraw's name being called out. Just watch!


To continue with the Spaghetti Monster - what an interesting bit of satire, just do a google search, and see all the news - like a statue to the monster that is outside of a courthouse in TN next to Jesus and the Statue of Liberty, and then look at this rendition of an ancient Chinese/Japanese text similar to the Kama Sutra with the FSM...

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The Mad TV interpretation of a Unity Ticket

Jeanne Moos from CNN was talking about comedians and not wanting Clinton to drop from the race. It got J to searching YouTube when he came across this video, which involves little people, which is in and of itself scary. Well after I saw that video that both made me giggle and also scared the crap out of me I saw this video:

It reminded me of what type of field day comedians would have with this notion of a Unity Ticket (Thanks Mad TV), something which I seriously doubt will happen no matter how much Lanny Davis whines about it. Mr. Davis, get over it and go to political Rehab.

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Of Sex Changes and Tropical Weather

I'm sure by now we've all seen the weather channel and noticed that Hurricane season has started a day early this year with the formation of Tropical Storm Arthur, but did you know that Arthur started off his tropical storm life as a she?

As Jeff Masters at the Wunderground blog points out:

Buckle your seat belts, hurricane season is here! If the formation of Arthur on the day before hurricane season officially starts is any indication, we are in for a strange and unusual season. Alma, the Eastern Pacific tropical storm that hit Nicaragua Thursday, fell apart over the high mountains of Honduras. The remnants reorganized over the Western Caribbean on Saturday morning and became Arthur. Had Alma maintained her identity as a tropical depression during the crossing, she would have kept her name. As it was, Alma died, had a posthumous sex change, and became reborn as a man named Arthur.

Many conservatives have chimed in saying allowing the storm to change is a stark example of meteorological activism and scientific fiat and are calling on people to boycott the weather channel especially the locals on the 8s, and will continue to monitor the scientific community. It's sent a shutter throughout and most concerned including Geologists who say that there may be a backlash against metamorphic rocks.

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Eucharist as Weapon

*pic from life teen
If there's anything that the past two election cycles have proven, it's that the Catholic tribe is a much sought after bloc of voters that is as complex a group as the generalization "white people" (as opposed to hard working, hard working white Americans).

A majority of Catholics have been, historically, aligned with the Democratic party since the 1940's and have proved pivotal in recent years as enough of the tribe was swayed to vote for George Bush in 2004. This gave him the Presidency for a second term over, ironically, his Catholic opponent - Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts.

Navigating the electoral waters for Catholics has proven to be a process of great discernment, highlighted with points of even greater contention, as the Bishops have appealed to the electorate with a rhetoric of thoughtful engagement with all the issues, while many have then turned around to punish certain politicians by with holding communion for their public support for a single issue, Abortion rights. In 2004 it was Sen. Kerry being disavowed the bread and wine from the Archbishop of St. Louis (if he ever attended Mass in his archdiocese).

This year the matter is on the verge of exploding back to the for-front, especially in the wake of the Apostolic Visit of Benedict XVI, who has reinvigored the Bishops and given them the confidence of legitimacy they've not had since prior to the sex abuse crisis. It's also stirred a frenzy among the young conservative elites who, in the wake of the abuse crisis, have seized the reigns of lay leadership and involvement away from the older liberal generations who were disaffected from the church because of the crisis (for many this was the proverbial straw for the camel's back).

These young elites and their Bishops have become more brazen to participate in partisan politics, and in some cases the Bishops have ignored their own directives to the Catholic electorate not to focus on single issues. Such was the case of Kathleen Sebelius (D), the Catholic Governor of Kansas. It was recently reported in Commonweal online that "...with the Democratic governor’s political star rising, the registered Republican Archbishop of Kansas City revived the use of Holy Communion as a political weapon to take her down. He publicly called on her to stop taking Communion with her Catholic community, because of her widely-known opposition to the use of criminal law in dealing with abortion. In a Catholic newspaper column, Archbishop Joseph Naumann indicated that he had made the request because he had been angered by her vetoes of several Republican bills restricting abortion in Kansas. In her most recent veto message, Gov Sebelius offered a detailed description of the lengths to which she had gone to address the abortion issue constructively, and lauded the success her administration had achieved in decreasing its incidence."

But refusing communion to Democrat Politicians, as we've noted with Sen. Kerry and the Archbishop of St. Louis in 2004, while certainly becoming more partisan and brazen is not new. Public lashing of moderate Republicans, who are moderate on abortion rights issues, is. Recently Rudy Guliani (former contender for the Republican nomination for President), was publicly censured by Cardinal Egan of New York.

But it doesn't stop there! Now you don't even have to be a Politician moderate on, or in favour of, abortion rights to be barred from Communion.

Most recently Doug Kmeic, perhaps one of the country's most revered opponents to abortion, a constitutional lawyer who served under that paragon of conservatism, Ronald Regan, was even denied communion. From his own words at Catholic.org:

On the blogs, I have been declared “self-excommunicated,” and recently at a Mass before a dinner speech to Catholic business leaders, a very angry college chaplain excoriated my Obama-heresy from the pulpit at length and then denied my receipt of communion.

A slap in the face for a man who discerned with great diligence that which the Bishops asked him to do when it comes to exorcising his constitutional and moral right of voting. All because he supports a Democrat who, while by virtue of his own conscience has passed the test for acceptable and worthy of his vote, is ok with Abortion Rights.

Does anyone else find it absurd that a political party is being systematically anathematized by a virulent, vitriolic unsympathetic group of elites and their hierarchical collaborators? Is anyone else perturbed that the Bishops should be so beholden of such a group and to that group's ascetic interpretations of law, scripture, and tradition, that they would disregard their own directive to voters at the behoovement of such a class of young Theocons and Clericalists, using Eucharist as a weapon against someone well regarded as friend to their cause?

And why are we using the Eucharist as a weapon? It is the most supreme Irony that the Sacrament of Love, compassion, and forgiveness - should become a weapon of segregation, denigration and saddest of all, a mere prop in the ongoing supposed "culture war," a war that only exists in the ethos of a lost generation and perpetuated and embodied in their indoctrinated and anointed heirs who can't see beyond the notion of us-versus-them into the post-modern reality in which the world resides - that its not necessary to be either ideological victim or warrior, but rather consensus maker or to borrow one of the titles of the Pope - Pontifex, bridge builder.

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Geico Commercials and Spoofs

For some reason I wanted to see that Geico Commercial with Joan Rivers. I found it then found the following parody.

Parody One - by dutchwest, is a Geico Spoof called obnoxious and features a Robin Williams impersonator with a person who has cancer. As a cancer survivor I laughed really hard at that one.



Parody Two - by the tenderloins. It's a spoof on the Geico spoof on the Neanderthal commercials.

Just some Random blogging...

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Iran So Far....

Possibly one of the funniest video I've seen in a while, thanks J for sending this to me... Remember when the President of Iran said there were no Gays in Iran? This was produced made around that time of his visit.... Too funny, enjoy!

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Illegal Immigration is God's punishment for Abortion!

I love the First Ammendment. I love the fact that we live in a free society where people can protest about anything for any reason in the public square. Today I was walking to lunch and I had the opportunity to witness such an expression of that right at our State House.

On the way to lunch I saw this man standing on a Flag of the country of Mexico. While he and the rest of his friends stood in attention for the speaker at the podium I took the photo, then happened to stand and listen as a Preacher came forth and said a prayer. It included references to repentance and the necessity of Jesus, the thankfulness of Christ mission on earth and how he truly died, was buried and was raised again, and then went on to pray for an end to illegal immigrants entering our country and for bold tough leadership to stand up against illegals -- Mmm, the sentiments of my God are alive and well today on the lips of his most devoted of followers.


I was actually suprised when returning from lunch as I crossed the State House Grounds to see the protest still going on, people were milling around (no speaker or preacher this time) some enjoying a bagged lunch and I noticed the abortion man. In addition to his normal large poster of a dead baby he had a sign that said "This is God's reason for invasion of Illegals, ABORTION!" I had to chuckle and laugh and wonder if he would be willing to go around to various protests and protest with them so long as he got to make references to dead babies and Abortion as the reason for said punishment from on High.

"This is God's reason for (Enter Societal Problem Here), ABORTION"

It would appear to only take $50 plus mileage and lunch. This is God's reason for Global Warming, Abortion! This is God's reason for Sanjaya, Abortion! This is God's reason for Reality TV, Abortion!

God Bless America.

*Sorry for the poor cell phone quality photos! And check out the Ron Paul sign the first guy is carrying!

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What is this - British?

Too funny - "Stuff White people like," a blog devoted completely to what white people enjoy. Takes self-deprecation to new levels.

The latest post:

#71 Being the only white person around
February 20, 2008 by clander

This concept ties heavily into post #7 Diversity and post #19 Travelling, but is important that you fully understand how white people view authenticity and experience.
In most situations, white people are very comforted by seeing their own kind. However, when they are eating at a new ethnic restaurant or traveling to a foreign nation, nothing spoils their fun more than seeing another white person.
Many white people will look into the window of an ethnic restaurant to see if there are other white people in there. It is determined to be an acceptable restaurant if the white people in there are accompanied by ethnic friends. But if there is a table occupied entirely by white people, it is deemed unacceptable.
The arrival of the “other white people” to either restaurants or vacation spots instantly means that lines will grow, authenticity will be lost, and the euphoria of being a cultural pioneer will be over.
Being aware of this can be extremely valuable in your efforts to gain the trust of white friends and co-workers. If you bring a white person to an ethnic restaurant and another white person (or group of white people) shows up, you can lose all respect and trust that you have worked so hard to acquire. Do your best to find a table with a divider, or ask the waiter to put future white people out of sight.
Note: This does not apply to night clubs.

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Why are they so worried?

According to an AP article: "WASHINGTON - White House visitor logs are public documents, a federal judge ruled Monday, rejecting a legal strategy that the Bush administration had hoped would get around public records laws.

The ruling is a blow to the Bush administration and prominent religious conservatives... But U.S. District Judge Royce C. Lamberth ruled logs from the White House and Vice President Dick Cheney's residence remain Secret Service documents and are subject to public records requests.
In a lawsuit brought by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, a liberal watchdog group, Lamberth ordered the Secret Service to turn over visitor logs regarding nine conservative religious commentators, including James Dobson, Gary Bauer and Jerry Falwell."

What does the little Emperor have to fear about if his AEP Bishops visit at odd hours? Why would they have the Secret Service destroy these documents after a copy being turned over to the White house? What draconian policies could possibly be drafted in such nefarious secret sessions?

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