I laughed so hard I almost cried

Hat Tip to Waldo for linking to a gobbet about Scarlett Johannson's album from renowned music producer Clive Davis entitled Renaisance Woman - You are Not. Mr. Davis provided us with two very funny quotes that are oooh so appropriate in describing the vocal stylings of Ms. Johannson's Anywhere I lay my head compilation. The first from Pooter Geek:

She has... a singing voice like two labradors spinning in an industrial tumble dryer. This is not a matter of taste; it’s a purely technical assessment based on her demonstrated inability to pitch notes accurately. Watch this video. How long can you last with the volume turned up? Look at the expressions on the faces of the more-than-competent backing musicians.

The other, you'll find below the video of her cover of a Tom Waits classic "Falling Down"


Mr. Davis pulled this quote from What Would Tyler Durden Do?: "Tom Waits is rolling over in his grave, and he's not even dead yet."

I hope Mr. Waits doesn't mind what appears to be so disastrous a tribute. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but Mrs. Johannson's voice seems so overly contrived in this video in comparison to Mr. Waits' smokey and naturally strained vocals. Where she labours to go deeper, it is a trademark of Mr Waits to strain higher. It just doesn't seem to mash up well here. I suppose the background instrumentation, that was so simple in Mr. Waits version, and so expansive in Ms. Johannson's version above is a creative foil to her inability to vocally resonate? In any respect, it's an interesting bit. Just make sure the family dog is properly tied up in the back yard before turning up Anywhere I lay my head.

Oh and Waldo - Pia Zadora is laughing... somewhere.

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